If we’re to expect a society in which men and women are truly considered equals, women have to accept their portion of the responsibility, and the blame. Some years ago, having lived in New York City since graduating from college, I was visiting my parents for Thanksgiving. ” You can probably imagine the indignant response that ensued, in which I (and my mom) defended my choice not to be married and not even be dating anyone at the ripe old age of, say, 26, because it’s New York and that’s how the kids do things there, and plus I’d just broken up with someone, and who are you to tell me I should already be paired off and shuffled down the aisle for a life of tedium and domesticity anyway, old neighbor man?
We’re free and “grown up” and independent; we can do what we want, sexually and otherwise.
There was the super-successful corporate honcho with a cardboard box for a nightstand. And I can’t forget the “totally eligible” magazine editor who moved to the suburbs while we were dating, convinced me to take a bus to visit him, showed off his two-story brick house with granite kitchen counters and an actual backyard, as if knowing it was exactly what I aspired to—and then promptly married someone else.
The best friend with whom I had zero sexual attraction. There were men who have dropped me on my head, literally and figuratively. At some point, I yelled at almost all of these men for not being “what I wanted,” and, as we all do, turned to my female friends for consolation and support.
He’s impossibly rich, and his lady-friend could model for a living, and possibly does. Because, you know, you just can’t find a decent dude in this city. Luisita Lopez Torregrosa, writing in Politics Daily, called the ratio of men to women “scarily in favor of men,” and advised ladies to “go West—San Diego, Dallas, and Seattle.
It’s where the boys are.” As Tamsen Fadal, relationship expert and the female member of “America’s only husband-wife matchmaking team” told us, “New York is like a candy store to men.