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Dating with stoma

love, Alisa Dear Sekao, I know the feeling of being alone and wishing to find someone with an ostomy. Even tougher being dumped because I now have an Ileostomy. I'm almost 50 now and I don't know if I'll ever have someone in my life again, can't take being humiliated and then dumped again in front of a big crowd. Sylvain and The Thing (Name of my ostomy) I was a member of the "meet and ostomate" group for a little while.

I hope that you will finally find your life mate and love. It is definitely NOT where you would go to find a date. I quit the group soon after I joined because one of the members wrote his suicide note and put it on the site.

I don't really know how it will work and or how much of a mood breaker a poop bag will be.

I don't think it's going to play out right.

I clicked on this I thought it would be interesting to find someone like me to talk with about things.

Like dating and sex I've had an ileostomy bag for a month and don't know how well it's going to go over.

The second scenario is if you are already an ostomate and begin dating someone and the third is if you and your stoma are out at the bar with the intentions of a “one-night-stand” type of deal.

Just having companions with the same health challenges would be nice to have.I fully intend to maintain a certain amount of personal privacy, and believe me, I wouldn’t say anything I don’t want my girlfriend or grandmother to read. As lucky as I am, I don’t think this is incredibly common.With that said, I’m probably not the first 21-year-old ostomate to say that the exact thought process after their surgery was: “Oh man, where the hell am I? Also, I say girlfriend because that’s the easiest way for me to explain these things but I want this blog to be helpful to all people and I think many of the same ideas apply for any significant other, boy or girl.I don’t know this from experience, but I’m just making an educated guess based on how people normally react when I tell them. The only other option is insisting on keeping your shirt on, and the other person would probably think you’re weirder for that anyway.So maybe establish some normalcy on the first or second date and once you’re pretty sure she likes you enough to not run away screaming, try and bend the conversation towards your sickness and stoma. So don’t go up to someone and say “Hi, I’m Bobby and this is my stoma, Joe. ” Use your best judgment, be tactful, and above all be confident.Inspire is a site with compassion, support, friendship, and love.I feel blessed to have a group of people like this in my life. Hugs Donna There is a site called Meet an Ostomate - I don't really know much about it but you can google it and see what's there.It would be so nice to date someone with a stoma also..luck and please keep me posted what you find out.This can be very stressful for couples and sadly it leads to the end of many relationships. The best way to hold things together in a time like this is communication.For the sake of both of you, you don’t want to do this alone, so you need to tell the other person what’s going on but you don’t want to be overwhelming.


  1. Just wondering whether there is an official dating/friendship site for people with an ostomy/urostomy. It would be so nice to date someone with a stoma also.

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