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Wouldn't it be wonderful if changing lipstick was all it took to become more effective and empowered in handling discipline problems with children? Kevin Leman is an out-of-the-box parenting problem solver who might buy into the lipstick method if it worked, Dr.

Leman instead teaches parents about the effective "Reality Discipline." This clever method of getting little "ankle biters" to obey is less exhausting and more successful than ranting, raving, blaming, pleading, begging or threatening.

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That's been my problem all along — I've been wearing champagne pink!

Leman explain on the radio how reality discipline teaches responsibility. Leman suggested that if her son ran from her next time, she should ask another adult on the playground if they would be kind enough to keep an eye on her son for a few minutes. Just cool, collected action with some quick, clever thinking to make your point loud and clear. Here are some basic principles of Reality Discipline to help you get (and keep) the upper hand with your kids. Leman says that the goal of parenting is not to create happy kids; rather, it's to create responsible kids.

He told an engaging story about a mother whose preschool son was driving her bananas because every day when she stopped to pick him up from preschool, he ran from her on the playground. Then she should drive away, go to the nearest ice cream shop, purchase a cone for herself and drive back to the school to pick up her son. This means Junior will probably be pretty unhappy that he didn't get an ice cream cone; he may even throw a fit, and rant and rave — but he will become more responsible and respectful. Remind yourself that it's a battle of the wits and the wills, and you will win.

The first thing to remember about Reality Discipline is that you want your children to learn to think for themselves and learn to become more responsible through guidance and action-oriented techniques. Leman says, "Action-oriented discipline is based on the reality that there are times when you have to pull the rug out and let the little buzzards tumble.

I mean disciplining your children in such a way that he/she accepts responsibility and learns accountability for his actions." Here's an example.

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