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Nigerian parents and dating

I distinctly remember my mum dropping down on her knees in tears and begging me to reconsider my career choice after I told her I decided not to become a lawyer but a journalist instead. Many of my friends have caved into the pressure and fallen into one of the first three options. We now know Lagos is a party city and we’re down to go and shake a leg. You’ve literally just thrown your hat up for the token picture and the quick-fire questions start shooting: ‘Where’s your husband? For many Nigerian parents, Jesus is their best friend.

So much so, a few of them might take the notion of praying in the midnight hour to a whole new level.

At times they can be the funniest person you know but other times they can be as scary as Lord Voldemort riding a giant spider.

And they have their set ideas on marriage and education.

We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount.

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Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women.In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal.A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian culture.In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals, White-Americans and African-Americans.They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble reasons.Here are some of the things you know if you have Nigerian parents: Whether they are talking on the phone, laughing at the TV, calling you downstairs, or upset, Nigerian parents can’t seem to talk at a level lower than that of a light aircraft flying past your ear.They make you jump and you’re never quite ready for the outburst. The first time you realise this is when your non-African mate from school comes round and asks you, ‘why is your mum always shouting? Meanwhile, my Grandad still asks me, ‘so when are you going to start Law? In the 90s we used to hear all sorts about how, er, ‘different’ life is in Nigeria.This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. The vast majority of Nigerians living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too.Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers.How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions?How did they become “yes honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? How is it that a breed of men married to their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married to foreigners?

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