I see women who continually find men who, for whatever reason, never step up to treat them the way they deserve. I realized that it had very little to do with the men, but more to do with how the women approached dating. It is overwhelming and can end a relationship before it starts. Hopefully, by this point, this goes without saying. It devastates so many women when a first date does not become a relationship. Men will easily get turned off by a woman who calls or texts too much.When I saw how she was doing after the breakup she seemed at peace with most of it, it was of course challenging for her, but she seemed content.I knew she was going to be OK, but the way I saw her ex-boyfriend handling it was not something that sat right with me.They were too emotionally entrenched in the experience and could not see how they were creating some of the dynamics. You will probably see a difference in how people interact with you.2. I myself was a victim of this until I recognized my part in this process and then I began dating and eventually married a man who treats me the way I deserve. Let go of the self defeating thoughts holding you back.
Second of all, even if you didn’t want things to end, or you weren’t ready to go your separate ways, putting your significant other down for the decision that he/she made only makes YOU look bad. It is heartbreaking to see them make the same mistakes over and over again. All too often, I see friends continually devastated by their dating experiences. Don’t give them your power by allowing yourself to feel bad. Especially when we feel insecure, we tell people way too much about us. The feminists are going to hate me on this one, but I think “I am woman, hear me roar” has done us a disservice in the dating department. If you go to his house on the first date instead of him coming to pick you up, I have two words for you: booty call. He is not a girlfriend with whom you should spend hours on the phone. You can bet he isn’t sitting by the phone waiting for you to call. We get far too emotionally attached when sex is in a relationship, but men don’t view this the same way. They don’t even stop to consider whether or not they even like the guy. Show up, have fun and if it works out, great, if not, on to the next one. Just like with children who will tell you they don’t want rules, but they function much better and are happier with them.7. After your relationship is more established, call him, but still limit how much you do call. If this is anxiety provoking, find some other way to spend your time. For the first couple of months, you should limit your physical intimacy. They think it is because they are not pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough or fun enough.I understand endings can sometimes come as a surprise, and in the moment your life feels frozen and you aren’t sure what to do. However, there are some certain things that you just don’t you after a breakup, especially after dating someone seriously for four years.And those things are spelled out in the unwritten rulebook for dating that everyone should read, which I am attempting to write some of now.And if one journey in life closes for you, most likely another door will eventually open up. Just feel blessed you had an opportunity to love and be loved back.Be grateful for the overall experience, and look to the future, instead of putting down people of your past.Because whether you’re the one breaking the heart, or the one getting your heart broken, it's not easy for either of you.Although your special bond is coming to an end, acting disrespectful toward each other will only break that bond permanently and forever. There is no dating “bible” that one most follow to ensure the success of a relationship.