We cannot vouch for the user experience provided by external sites. We are just providing information, which we hope fans will find useful. All original author and copyright information must remain intact. This guide may be distributed and copied freely, in its entirety, for personal use.Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.
Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you.Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.Original Episode # Prod # Air Date Titles _____ ______ ___________ ___________ ___________________________________________ Season 1 1. 1-28 20 May 03 Sort of an Officer and a Gentleman: Part 2 Season 2 29. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.” Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. I will ask you a lot of questions and make sure you know that I know how special my son is. No, I’m not going to be nosey, rude or obsessive about it But, if my son’s phone just happens to be laying on the table, and I see he’s gotten a text, I might take a look at it. Not really, but I will try to figure out what kind of girl you are, before you spend time with my son.